So many times others may make us feel that we are not worthy of their love. That we have only conditional approval with them. That we have to jump through hoops and leap tall buildings to even begin to measure up to their requirements. Well, if no one has told you lately, I want to let you know that you are valuable!
You have so much to offer, and it is time to tap into yourself and determine your worth. People will treat us how we allow them to treat us. We have to expect to be treated like a rare diamond because we are a rare diamond.
We have so much untapped potential. Imagine our value, if we only knew our worth. How much are you worth? What do you bring to the table? Shouldn’t a potential mate bring at least the same thing to the table as you bring to the table? Why do we think it is okay to accept crumbs, when we can have the entire meal?
When you recognize your worth, you won’t allow others to abuse your kindness. When you recognize your worth, you won’t do things that lessen your worth. You will not degrade yourself so the other person can feel valued. When you recognize your worth, others will recognize your worth too. Some people won’t even approach you because they will recognize that they have to approach you correctly, or not at all.
So, I ask you again – what is you worth? Isn’t it time you find out?
You think you’re ready for marriage. You feel you have everything together. You’re easy on the eyes, and can’t seem to understand why you are constantly looked over. Are you being honest with yourself? Are you really ready for marriage.
Here are seven signs that you’re not ready for marriage, and yet have some self-work to complete:
1. You’re selfish. You can’t fathom placing someone else’s needs above your own even for a moment. Whatever is going on has to be about you. You could never see yourself having to take care of a spouse with a chronic health condition. That would be your cue to exit.
2. You’re not letting someone else know where you’re going. You don’t have to do that! Well, when you marry someone it’s just a courtesy to let your spouse know your plans. People leave home every day, and never make it back home. It’s a sign of maturity to let your spouse know when you will arrive home.
3. You expect your spouse to fit into your life because you’re not changing. When you get married your life becomes our life. You’re not expected to stop doing what you’re doing, but you are expected to create a life with your spouse.
4. You refuse to openly communicate about your finances. Listen, this is not a roommate arrangement. When you get married, your finances become our finances. Your credit becomes our credit. Many marriages are destroyed because of finances. If you’re not ready to be truthful about your finances, you’re not ready for marriage.
5. The only good communication you have is sexual communication. Let me tell you that’s not enough! When you’re fully clothed and standing up, you have to be able to effectively communicate. Communication is very important for the success of your marriage.
6. Your vision of what marriage should be is based on what you have read in a book, seen on TV or what worked for your parents.
7. You refuse to let past transgressions go! You keep a running tally of what others do to you, or things you don’t like. You can’t wait to bring up these transgression over and over and over again. There’s no clean slate with you.
If you found yourself in any of the above statements, all is not lost. You have to be willing to work on yourself. There’s hope.
I don’t care about an endangered gorilla being killed. People are being murdered in the streets, children are being abused and molested, the elderly are being mistreated, and the poor and homeless are shunned like they have leprosy! This list can go on and on.
I’m appalled at the number of comments I have seen saying they should’ve let the child die instead of killing the gorilla, and all the comments about the mother’s parenting skills. I wasn’t there, so I won’t judge her parenting skills.
Standing on the outside looking in is a very comfortable place to be to analyze what someone else should’ve been doing.
I know I’ve been in the store and told my granddaughter to stand beside me while I looked at clothes, only for her to move, as children will do. I thank God in that few minutes nothing happened to her.
We are living in perilous and treacherous times. Some would rather an animal lived, and a child died. Some have skewed ethics and values. These are the last days!
I’m grateful a child lived!
I’m doing a series of vlogs to share my pet peeves. I’m posting them in no particular order. Each one shares equal importance of being on my list of topics that will illicit an emotional response from me that I say is passionate, and some may say is anger. We can debate the emotion expressed forever, but these are my pet peeves.
Do you have any pet peeves?
More pet peeves to come…
My daughter and I were discussing politics with my granddaughter. My granddaughter wouldn’t listen to us telling her she wasn’t old enough to vote. My daughter kept messing with her until my granddaughter calmly said TCOB.
We immediately asked, “What is TCOB?” She said, “Take Care of Your Own Business.” We laughed! I asked her, “Where did you learn that?” She said, “From my teacher at school. That’s what we say when somebody is in our business.” I said, “When you say TCOB, what does the person do?” She said, “They get out of your business.”
What an awesome life lesson for a six-year-old! She’s already learning to mind her own business, while keeping people out of her business. She’s being taught how to positively communicate what could be considered negative feedback to some.
Taking Care of Your Own Business requires focus and determination. If I’m taking care of my business, I don’t have time to focus on your business.
The next time someone tries to be in your business just tell them
I was getting ready for work this morning and I began to think about my dad. As my birthday is fastly approaching, I wondered what would my dad think of me. I wondered would he like the person I have become, and would he be pleased with my morals and values.
Then, I thought of one of my most vivid memories of my dad. I had to be four or five years old. I was living in Henry Horner projects – 1847 W Lake St, Apt. 806. I still remember. It was in the winter time and I was standing in front of my school. My mom had bundled me up and no one else was standing in front of the school. I realize now she must have dropped me off early to make it to work.
This man pulled up in a car and called my name. I went to the car and he said, “do you remember me?” I nodded my head and said, “Yes, you’re my daddy.” He had me get in the car to stay warm and he talked to me until it was time to go into the school. He told me he hadn’t seen me in a while, but that was going to change. I later found out I wasn’t seeing my dad because of my evil stepfather, but that’s another story.
Father’s make a permanent impression on their children. The time you spend holding your children when their babies, allowing them to sleep on your chest, feeding, bathing and all the other quality time you spend with them makes a difference. Even though time had passed, I knew “that man” was my daddy.
After my dad passed, I got a tattoo over my heart that says “Daddy’s Lil Girl.” My dad always called me “daddy’s lil girl.” I was in my twenties and my dad was still calling me his “lil girl.” The special bond I had with my father has kept me grounded. When I feel like fighting as my mom would do, the peacemaking spirit I received from my dad prevails. My dad was the first man that loved me unconditionally. He showed me what unconditional love from a man looks and feels like.
This is a call to action for father’s everywhere. I pray it’s not too late for you to make memories with your children that will help you leave a good permanent impression on your children. What do you want your children to say about you? Do you want them to remember you with good feelings, or do you want them to learn the hard way that you failed as a father. I plead with you to make a renewed commitment to your children and be the great father your children need you to be in their lives.
I know. I know. You don’t have to say it. I carry a bookbag to work. I was doing so good with minimizing the number of lipglosses/lipsticks that were in my bag. I don’t even know when it happened, but it did. I’m no longer minimizing. I mean I may change my mind about the lippie I want to wear, so a girl needs choices, right?
We won’t even discuss the ones that’s not in my bag or the other “stuff” that’s in my bag, but I will say I can be entertained for hours.
When I look in my bag, I recognize several truths about myself:
1. I love lipgloss and lipstick.
2. I love to read.
3. Technology is my friend.
4. I love to read.
What does the stuff in your bag say about you?
Since you’ve been gone, so much has happened. I almost don’t know where to begin. After you passed, I still expected the phone to ring and you to say how’s daddy’s little girl; even though I was fully grown with a husband and children of my own. Almost every day I think about you. When I look in the mirror, I see you. I see you in my children and even in my granddaughter.
That’s right!! I didn’t have the opportunity to tell you about all of the life changes. Kenny and Kendra are grown, and Kenny has a daughter. Kendra is married! Kwinton is grown and still trying to find his niche.
I earned my MBA in 2005, and you know I love school, so I’m working on another degree. You would’ve been so proud to attend all of our graduations and special events that have happened, since you’ve been gone.
I am so glad I had a dad like you. You represented everything good about daddies. You knew me better than anyone. You could tell in my voice, if something was wrong. I could depend on you to be there for me. You sacrificed for my siblings and me.
Because you are gone, my life has never been the same. People say time heals all wounds. I don’t believe that. I believe the wound doesn’t heal. I have just learned to keep living my life without you. I miss you so much and will forever be appreciative of your love.
With infinite love,
Daddy’s Lil’ Girl