Friends – How Many Of Us Have Them?

I’m convinced that a lot of people don’t know how to be a friend. They don’t understand the actions or inactions of a friend. Essentially, if asked to describe what a friend looks like, they would fail.

Let me tell you what a friend is not. A friend is not someone that has to pledge allegiance only to you. A friend is not someone that has to dislike who you dislike and like who you like. These mean girl terms of friendships should’ve disappeared when we left elementary school. It’s unfortunate that some of us are still mean girls. We are frozen in time and have yet to mature into adulthood.

My BFF and I rarely have a phone conversation. We send random text from time to time. However, when we are fortunate to get together, it’s as if we have never been apart. The conversation continues like we have always been talking. I know that she has my back and I have hers. There’s no denying our bond

If you have friends or friends, you are fortunate. Treasure and cultivate those friendships. Don’t take them for granted. Some of you may wonder do you have any friends. Here are five signs that the people you are hanging with are not your friends.

1. They let you walk around all day with a visible booger in your nose for everyone to see.

2. They don’t tell you your breath stinks, or that you have a foul body odor.

3. They talk about you negatively to others.

4. They know you need a fashion makeover, but they just continue to let you look a hot mess in public.

5. They don’t tell you the truth. They would rather let you think you are right instead of calling you out on your foolishness.

If you have people in your life that fit these “friendship” signs, you need to let those people go. They are harmful to your positive growth. They are not adding any value to your life.

Whodini’s lyrics to the song “Friends” provides a great conclusion to defining a friend.  Here’s just some of the lyrics:

Friends, how many of us have them?

Friends, ones we can depend on

Friends, how many of us have them?

Friends, before we go any further

Lets be friends

Is a word we use everyday

Most the time we use it in the wrong way

Now you can look the word up, again and again

But the dictionary doesn’t know the meaning of friends

And if you ask me, you know, I couldn’t be much help

Because a friend is somebody you judge for yourself

Some are okay, and they treat you real cool

But some mistake kindness for bein’ a fool

We like to be with some, because they’re funny

Others come around when they need some money

Some you grew up with, around the way

And you’re still real close too this very day

Homeboys through the summer, winter, spring and fall

And then there’s some we wish we never knew at all

And this list goes on, again and again

But these are the people that we call friends


The Friend Code


I’m convinced that some people do not know the definition of the word friend, and do not know how to be an authentic friend. To understand the lack of friendship principles of others would require a different post and more time. I was reviewing the various friends that have or still are in my life, and I created some friend categories.

The Needy Friend – we all have these type of friends. You only hear from them during a crisis, drama or when they want you to do them a “favor.” You know when their world is cohesive because they are MIA in your text and call logs.

The It’s All About Me Friend – whenever you talk to them the conversation revolves around their life. Anything you say they have a way if making it about them. If you call them because you need to vent, they end up taking over the conversation and it becomes their vent session.

The I’m Busy Friend – this is the friend who never makes time for their friends. They are always too busy. They neglect the friendship by not investing any time in the friendship. Oh, but let them enter a crisis phase! They answer your calls on the first ring. Before you complete your text, they are texting you!

The Talk Too Much Friend – they can’t keep a secret to save their life. They tell everything. If you want the word to be disseminated, this is who you tell. This is the entertaining friend. You always have a good time with this friend!

The I Have A Man/Woman Friend – whenever they have a man/woman in their lives, they kick ALL of their friends to the curb! They can’t go anywhere with you anymore because they spend all of
their free time with their man/woman. You won’t hear from them until there is trouble in paradise…

The I Got Yo Back Friend – this is the friend we all need. Their picture should be posted by the word friend. They are a confidant, advocate and will tell you when you’re wrong. You don’t have to talk every day, but when you do it’s like the comversation never stopped. They have your best interest at heart. If you need someone to pray, they are the one. A real friend.

Take a real assessment of yourself and determine what kind of friend are you. If you want to know the truth, ask your friends. Now, what actions are you going to take to be a better friend?

*Image courtesy of stockimages*