There’s A Leader Inside of You!

There’s a leader inside of you that wants to manifest in your life. Leaders have certain characteristics that set them apart from everyone else. There are so many leadership characteristics, but the characteristics that resonate with me most are honesty, positive, good communicator, integrity, confidence and transparent. What leadership characteristics resonate the most with you? You will notice that the leadership characteristics that resonate most with you are the characteristics that you will recognize most within yourself.

You may be wondering how do I know there’s a leader inside of you. There’s been an argument that will probably continue forever between leadership scholars. One school of thought is people are born leaders, and the other school of thought is people can learn to be leaders. I believe each of us has the ability to be a leader. The issue is do we want to be a leader.

Some find out because of challenges or adversity in their own lives that they are leaders. Others seem to have a natural gravitation to leadership. They always seem to be placed in positions of leadership, or are expected to lead. Are you a leader? Do you want to be a leader? What events will have to happen for you to demonstrate you are a leader?

Rejection is Not the Final Answer


Rejection seems cruel and we don’t feel good after being rejected.  Nobody wants to be rejected for any reason, but rejection does happen.  Rejection is not the final answer.  It’s how we handle the rejection.

Recently, I experienced rejection at work.  I wasn’t happy, and I’ll admit that I haven’t fully recovered from feeling rejected.  However, I learned some lessons from the rejection that will help me achieve success.

In every trial and test we go through we have to determine what am I supposed to learn from this experience.  Our comeback determines our future success. 

 Here’s some lessons I have learned from rejection:

1.  I can say no. So many times we relinquish our power by giving in to be used, but saying no reclaims our power over our future.
2. I have a lot to offer. The skills and experiences that I bring to the table speak for themselves. It’s time I recognize that and not expect anyone else to validate me.

3. Write my vision for my future and begin to set my vision in motion by completing tasks that will get me closer to the fruition of my vision.

4. Take the limits off of me. Don’t limit myself to being placed in a box with a lid, but enlarge my territory and refuse to have lids placed on me.

5. Don’t be afraid to take chances.  

6. Always remember I have value, and refuse to allow anyone to belittle my value in their actions or deeds.

7. I can be angry and not act out. There’s a way to express myself without negativity being attached to my words or actions.

8. Let it go! Don’t let this situation hinder my progress.

9. I choose to make feeling rejected a temporary feeling. 

10. Learn all I can because I want my results to be maturity and growth.

Rejection doesn’t feel good, but the lessons learned from rejection are priceless.

When You’re Drowning in Staying Woke and Being Deep

There are some folks that are just too woke and deep for their own good. When does good ol common sense kick in? When does analyzing the decisions and actions of others go to far? Quit trying to psychoanalyze every word and action. Let it go and recognize it is what it is. Some stuff is just not that deep!
Here are some mantras to remember to remove yourself from drowning in being woke and deep:

1. Everybody doesn’t have to agree with you.

2. It’s not your job to change my mind.

3. Speak your truth.

4. Every statement doesn’t require reading between the lines. Some people actually say what they mean, and mean what they say.

5. Self-inspection is free. Try it sometimes because maybe just maybe your lack of self-inspection is the real issue.

6. Quit passing your personal issues on to others. Deal with your issues!

7. Choose to place your soapbox on the shelf.

8. JUST LET IT GO!

That’s My Name!

I can relate to this article. My name is Annjanette. I have had people mispronounce my name and call me every other name that begins with an A, but Annjanette.

The older I have become, the more adamant I am about pronouncing and spelling my name correctly. When I entered college, instructors and classmates would ask, “What else are you called?” I would say, “Annjanette.”

When I entered Corporate America, I was asked the same question with a twist, “What’s your nickname?” I would respond, “I don’t use my nickname in the workplace. I use Annjanette.”

I’ve had managers pronounce and spell my name wrong. I insisted on my name being pronounced and spelled correctly. When my name is placed in an Outlook email, the spell check used to change it to Andante. I don’t know if it still does. There were real people who would send me an email that began – “Hello, Andante.”

I would be so tempted to reply and spell their name wrong, but I didn’t. My email would start with a greeting and then my first sentence would be, “My name is Annjanette.” Of course I would receive apologies, but I admit that those people loss work professional points with me. Not taking the time to spell my name correctly shows a lack of concern and the person doesn’t value me.

One of the latest incidents that’s still fresh in my mind happened about two years ago. I had an interim supervisor, and we had team huddles at the beginning of our shift every day. Every day this dude mispronounced my name, and every day I corrected him! Finally, I had enough! He had mispronounced my name for the last time!

I stopped the huddle and said, “Listen, you have mispronounced my name for the last time! I have corrected you every day, and I realize that pronouncing my name correctly is not important to you. Since you can’t pronounce my name correctly, call me Mrs. Halton!” From that day forward I didn’t call him by his name. If I needed his assistance and he was assisting someone else, I would say tell dude to come over here when he’s finished helping you.

Put some respect on my name!

46 Life Lessons I’ve Learned…


Today is my birthday and I was reflecting on the life lessons I’ve learned over the past 46 years. All of these lessons have truly molded and shaped me into the woman I am today.

These life lessons are not listed in order of importance, and there’s a story behind each lesson.

1. I have to love myself.

2. I’m my own Stan (fan)!

3. Sometimes I have to encourage myself.

4. God has to be a priority in my life.

5. Family is important.

6. Treat others the way I want to be treated.

7. Forgiveness frees me.

8. I can do bad by myself.

9. I know my worth.

10. Common sense will get you further than book sense.

11. Don’t lie.

12. Integrity is important.

13. Word is bond.

14. Be careful of the company you keep.

15. Be a good friend.

16. It’s not always about me.

17. Karma is real.

18. My husband is my best friend.

19. Happiness is a choice.

20. My life has purpose.

21. Hell is real.

22. Be authentic.

23. Live a life without regrets.

24. Stress kills.

25. Be informed 

26. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

27. Read on a regular basis.

28. Be open to constructive criticism.

29. Travel as often as I can.

30. Invest in myself.

31. Enjoy life to the fullest.

32. Pray.

33. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

34. Cultivate friendships 

35. Don’t let anyone misuse me.

36. Be honest.

37. Laugh often

38. Have a sense of humor.

39. Don’t be judgmental.

40. It okay to say I’m sorry.

41. Everybody will not like me.

42. Sex is good.

43. Be a good parent.

44. Be trustworthy.

45. Don’t go to bed angry.

46. Eat something you’ve never eaten before.

Cheers to these life lessons, and I can’t wait for the next 46 more! Happy Birthday to me!

Pet Peeve #1

I’m doing a series of vlogs to share my pet peeves.  I’m posting them in no particular order.  Each one shares equal importance of being on my list of topics that will illicit an emotional response from me that I say is passionate, and some may say is anger.  We can debate the emotion expressed forever, but these are my pet peeves.


Do you have any pet peeves?

More pet peeves to come…

Rules To Live By


I thank God I’ve survived so far and made most decisions using common sense. Common sense is priceless.

I just want to help others that may need need assistance navigating this journey called life.   These rules are not listed in any order of importance because they are all important.  Here’s some rules to live by:

Don’t burn bridges – 9 times out of 10 you’re going to need that person again.

Listen to your elders – you’ll have less headaches, heartaches and stress.

Practice good work ethics.

Don’t quit a job before you have the next job.

You are responsible for your own happiness. Don’t buy into this romance movie happiness that includes statements like “you complete me.”

Don’t have sex with folks that just look good. Are they responsible? If a child results, will you have to put out an APB for them to help with the child? Would you want this woman to be the mother of your child? Do you want this person in your life for the rest of your life?

Don’t have sex in every relationship.  Is there a rule you have to have sex? Everybody ain’t worthy – ijs.

Surround yourself with folks that encourage and support you.

Learn how to be a real friend. Once you learn the real meaning, you may find out the folks you’ve been saying are on your squad are not on your squad.

Have a personal relationship with God. Give Him some of your time. He’s worthy.

*photo created by Samuel Zeller

Racism & Hatred

  

Last night there was breaking news of a church shooting in Charlotte with little details.  This morning we wake up to the awful reality that a young, White man decided to enter a church, and after sitting for an hour (the unconfirmed report) stood up and allegedly said “I came to shoot Black people” and proceeded to do just what he said he came to do.  This is a horrific display of racism and hatred!

Since this tragedy, the above picture has bee my face.  I can’t bring myself to smile.  I must admit I am angry and said to a few people via text, I don’t want to look at any White people today! I know my coworkers haven’t done anything to me, but this was my genuine feeling.  It took me awhile to focus on my daily work.  I couldn’t stop thinking about the senselessness of this crime. I felt like those murdered where my family. 

I already knew the media would portray this young man as having a mental issue.  Just look at the pictures being posted of him.  The pictures make him look disturbed.  The media wants to induce us into a coma of believing this was simply a mentally disturbed young man, who just randomly went into Mother Emanuel AME Church last night.  However, that’s not true!! A young man, who hated Black people, chose a Black Historic landmark in Charlotte to display his hatred.

We are living in turbulent, traumatic times and we need to stop drinking the arsenic laced kool-aid that says racism is dead, and we have proof because we have a Black president.  Our children can go anywhere they want and be anything they want to be in life.  The only thing holding Black people back is their laziness and they want a handout!  Hogwash!  Have you viewed the news lately?  Have you read any articles lately?  Have you read any racist social media post lately?

Racism is alive and well, and racists are showing and telling us every day just how they really feel and we have some that are willing to even kill us to prove how much they hate us.  Wake up people!  We have work to do!

Do You See Now?

PSA – Now do you see why I am so serious about jury duty and voting?! Some refuse to go or find some way to get out of going. Well, did that grand jury reflect the community makeup? We have to make sure we do not miss an opportunity to be on a jury. I want to be judged by a jury of my peers, not folks who have no idea what being Black in America means.

Voting is essential. Specifically, voting for local government officials. When we don’t vote, we risk having people in positions of power that don’t care about all of the people in the community. We risk having police that are afraid of Black skin, so they shoot first and ask questions later.

The reality is a White person doesn’t understand my plight because he or she is not Black, and I don’t understand the plight of being White because I’m not White. What I can do is try to understand a White person’s plight by imagining how I would feel in the same situation and vice versa.

I am tired of White people saying why it’s always about race! It shows a lack of cultural and historical knowledge, when these words are uttered and saying you have Black friends means what?! Imagine being Black and walking in my shoes, then answer your own question.

The rioting saddens me. However, some don’t understand the need for change until their almighty dollar is impacted. Maybe a store owner will stop racial profiling Black customers after seeing his or her store in ruins. Maybe what rises up from the ashes will be a better Ferguson – a better America. Stay tuned. IMG_5495.JPG

Image courtesy of stock images at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Daddy, I Have A Lot To Tell You

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Daddy,

Since you’ve been gone, so much has happened. I almost don’t know where to begin. After you passed, I still expected the phone to ring and you to say how’s daddy’s little girl; even though I was fully grown with a husband and children of my own. Almost every day I think about you. When I look in the mirror, I see you. I see you in my children and even in my granddaughter.

That’s right!! I didn’t have the opportunity to tell you about all of the life changes. Kenny and Kendra are grown, and Kenny has a daughter. Kendra is married! Kwinton is grown and still trying to find his niche.

I earned my MBA in 2005, and you know I love school, so I’m working on another degree. You would’ve been so proud to attend all of our graduations and special events that have happened, since you’ve been gone.

I am so glad I had a dad like you. You represented everything good about daddies. You knew me better than anyone. You could tell in my voice, if something was wrong. I could depend on you to be there for me. You sacrificed for my siblings and me.

Because you are gone, my life has never been the same. People say time heals all wounds. I don’t believe that. I believe the wound doesn’t heal. I have just learned to keep living my life without you. I miss you so much and will forever be appreciative of your love.

With infinite love,

Daddy’s Lil’ Girl